Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello. I'm finding myself spiralling into a health anxiety crisis again. Things have been tough over the last 18 months. I've had major surgery, lost my Mum and lost my home. I've just moved into a new place but am finding it isolating and scary. I'm super aware of my body and every sensation and am panicking and worried that I have cancer or that I might have a heart attack or stroke. I'm googling symptoms and illnesses because I'm having some digestive issues and I keep feeling off balance and tired, my heart races and I cry all the time. I had 2 days away with my daughter and felt so happy and different but then started to worry because I was happy and didn't feel like I deserved to be and then the familiar heavy sadness returned. I just seem to stumble my way through each day feeling dreadful and hopeless. So many awful things have happened that I'm scared to feel any optimism and scared to feel happy in case it all goes wrong again. I'm starting to feel that my family would be better off without me. Thank you if you've read this. x
0 likes, 4 replies
emma74461 lisa215
Posted
hey, i couldnt read this and not reply. i lost my mum to her thinking her family would be better off without her and i can 100% tell you it has done nothing but ruin me. you are 1million percent worth it to your family and to yourself. I dont even know you and want to give you a big hug! please speak to someone. life can be so so so hard sometimes and you can and will feel better if you reach out. Ive struggled with the exact same anxiety issues as you and things can get better, you'd be amazed how much it helps if you start some therapy or meds. just have a chat to your GP.
lisa215 emma74461
Posted
Thank you so much for replying, I've felt so dreadfully alone. This life terrifies me, i feel so unable to cope. I looked after my Mum until her passing in December and I know feel like I'm waiting to die too. I lived with her my whole life and the adjustment is so hard. I have guilt that I could have done more for her and feel I have let her down. I honestly feel so hopeless, I've tried medications in the past but haven't found them helpful. I just want to feel normal and happy and not be so afraid. Grief changes us in ways that are unimaginable and I'm trying to find myself amongst the pieces of the broken life I know seem to have and I just don't think I'm there anymore.
sasical72 lisa215
Posted
Hello.
No wonder you are struggling, you have been through so much. Please remember that nothing lasts forever, even though when we are in a dark place it may seem like we will be stuck like that forever, it isn't true.
Have a look at untangle grief on IG, there you can connect and share with people who are going through grief and helps to feel less alone and isolate.
Sending you a big healing hug 💚
lisa215 sasical72
Posted
Thank you so much for your reply. I will look at what you suggest, thank you and I will hold on to that virtual hug 💜